


Cinnamon & Lipstick

by LinaBenliven



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, AruAni, Death, Death of a loved one, Erestoria, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, International Fanworks Day, International Fanworks Day 2017, Lipstick, M/M, One Shot, Platonic Erejean, Slow Burn, Song - Freeform, Working Through Grief, cinnamon, erejean - Freeform, jeanmarco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 21:23:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10817034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaBenliven/pseuds/LinaBenliven
Summary: One month ago both Eren and Jean lost someone extremely close to them and slowly have started to build their lives back up to a relatively normal state.With both of them still struggling to cope without their other half, Armin makes a suggestion that will help them cope with their loss.





	Cinnamon & Lipstick

Jean sighed as he crossed the empty apartment before looking through the peep hole on the door to see who had knocked. He knew it wouldn’t be, but every time that the someone knocked on the door or the doorbell rang; he thought it was going to be Marco. Not that it could be the tall freckled male. No, Marco was long gone. So when Jean looked through the peep hole he wasn’t surprised to see the caramel skin of Eren stood awkwardly, still dressed in his motorbike leathers that he had left in the day before. Sighing to himself, the taller male opened the front door and looked at Eren.

“I didn’t think you were ever coming home, where have you been?” He asks as he leans against the door frame, not quite willing to let Eren into their shared apartment just yet. Jean knows that his attitude was snappy, but when he had been left alone in the apartment for a while with no explanation as to where the brunette had gone – he thought it was justified. Especially when Eren knew how the taller male felt about his unannounced trips.

“Jean, we’ve been through this…” The brunette starts before coming through into the flat and kicking his shoes off before hanging his jacket up.

“No. We went through this when you vanished for the week. You can’t just disappear without letting me know that you’re going out! I panic and think that you’re lying dead on the pavement just like she was!” The taller males voice reaches an octave neither of the boys thought that he could reach and Eren puts his helmet down gently. “If I know what time you should be back I know whether to check up on you! I don’t want you dying too.” Jean adds as he digs through his jean pockets to grab a cig. He’s about to light it when he feels Eren’s fingers curl round his hand; stopping him from moving his fingers to flick open the lighter.

“Don’t Jean. You promised him that you would quit.” The brunette’s voice is soft and soothing. He knows exactly what Jean needs and doesn’t even remotely hesitate in giving him it, despite the taller male bringing up _her._ He knew Jean needed the reassurance, but Eren wasn’t sure whether it would work this time, he seemed more irritated than usual.

“You promised me that next time you wanted to vanish for a day you would tell me.” He says back and Eren smiles slightly. Jean was right. They were both breaking promises left, right and centre. Under those circumstances what did a promise to a dead man mean?

“I know, and I’m sorry. Armin and Annie had a small spat and I wanted to make sure that he was okay. I meant to text you, you know that right?” Jean exhales deeply at Eren’s words and watches the brunette’s hand fall back to his side. He lights his cig and takes a drag before nodding.

“I know that. It’s just the overwhelming worry when you don’t come home. I’ve lost too many people lately, I don’t want to lose another.” The brunette knew exactly what Jean meant and he gently wraps his arms around him.

“I’m here now Jean. And I’m not going anywhere.” He says as he leads the taller male into the bedroom that they were currently sharing. Neither of them wanted anything other than the company of the other, it made those long nights so much bearable.

Jean lets out a deep breath as he sits on the bed with Eren and he rests his head on his shoulder without putting too much thought into it. The brunettes hand snaked around the male’s waist and as they sat in comfortable silence; Eren couldn’t help but think about just how much things had changed in under one year.

The pair had met when their partners had introduced them. Marco and Historia had been on the same course at the college and the two males had met in passing. They hadn’t got on at first. Historia had said that they were too similar and Eren had to agree now that he was looking back on it. They had been rather similar. Both of them were angry at the world for things they couldn’t control. Jean because of the colleges attitude to his and Marcos relationship; and Eren because he was annoyed at the arson attack on his parent’s home that had killed them. They may have been angry about different things but; to them it didn’t matter. The other male would rile them up without realising and before long they would argue, leaving Historia and Marco to drag their stupid boyfriends away.

Now that Eren thought about it, it must have been funny watching a tiny blonde angel like Historia drag his ass away from fights. He knew it was amusing watch someone as gentle as Marco having to drag Jean’s ass away. He wasn’t sure how Historia and Marco had put up with their antics and stayed with them now he thought about it. A thought that has him stroking Jean’s side as he mulls it over.

Historia had been such an angel towards him, and he hadn’t always treated her the best that he could. He had taught her how to ride a bike yes, but he had done so reluctantly even though she had so clearly wanted to learn for so long. She had enjoyed riding on his bike for months and each time she had asked for lessons he had shot the blonde girl down.

He hadn’t trusted her with Marco the first time he had met the freckled male and as he lingers on the thought he knows exactly why. Eren had been so convinced that she would realise that Marco was so much better for her than Eren was. That had scared him and they had spent many nights arguing about it in their old tiny apartment. Which had usually ended in Eren sleeping on the couch because unless he could control himself; she didn’t want him in their bedroom. Not that Eren had blamed her for that decision. He wasn’t exactly the nicest when he was angry.

It wasn’t until he saw Marco with Jean that he realised that the freckled male didn’t want his girlfriend. And boy, had Eren felt like a total dick. He remembers apologizing profusely to his little blonde angel, and promising to be a better boyfriend. Something she had hit him playfully for. He can still remember her words from that day.

_I don’t want a better boyfriend. I fell in love for who you are. If I wanted a boyfriend like Marco; I wouldn’t have asked you out._

It was something that Eren had appreciated but, at the same time he hadn’t. He remembers voluntarily sleeping on the couch for a few nights while he thought it through. It had hurt because it had made it seem that Historia had settled for him, and when Eren knew that she was pretty enough to get any guy that she wanted it had planted a seed of doubt in his mind. But then he had brought it up in conversation a few days later and she had clarified what she meant. She had meant that she didn’t want him to change. That she was happy to be with him as he was without him changing who he was.

They had kissed and made up and then she had dropped the bomb that Marco and Jean would be staying with them for a few weeks due to the vandalism on their flat. At first Eren had been mad at this, until Historia had explained why they were coming. Someone had tried to set fire to their flat. Luckily both of them managed to put the fire out before it was too serious but, Marco didn’t want to stay there and Jean was furious at the way the building manager was dealing with it. The brunette tried to be pleasant to the pair of them but in reality he was just as annoyed as Jean was about what had happened. So when, Marco and Historia were in one of their night classes, Jean had confronted him about his annoyance; he had snapped.

He remembers shouting at him that it wasn’t because they were gay. That it was because of his parent’s death and the fact someone had set Jean and Marcos apartment on fire because they were gay. The fact that someone thought that they could do that pissed him off to no end. It hadn’t helped that the culprit had gotten away with it too. Jean had been silent for a very long time after Eren’s outburst. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to anger him further. No it was because he simply hadn’t known what to say to that. He hadn’t been expecting that to be the reason why Eren had been annoyed. It had marked a turning point for their relationship, and by the time their partners walked through the door with takeaway; the pair were sat with guitars and beers singing together.

Eren smiles at the memories and looks at the taller male next to him. He had fallen asleep while Eren had been thinking. The brunette smiles and gently shifts so that the pair of them were laid down before tugging the quilt over them both. He was comfortable enough with the other male that he could curl up next to Jean like this, without it meaning anything other than the fact they both wanted the comfort of another person next to each other. And it wasn’t something that Eren was going to deny Jean, especially not when the brunette wanted the exact same thing.

**~~*~~**

Jean woke the next morning to an empty bed and the faint sound of singing coming from the living room. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes before crossing to the bedroom door, blinking when he heard the gentle strum of a guitar as well. Eren hadn’t played in weeks. Neither of them had, they hadn’t wanted to. The apartment had been silent other than the pair of them talking. The TV hadn’t been turned on and neither had the stereo, so to hear music as he woke up was slightly strange; but a welcome change.

“You remind me of, cinnamon and lipstick, and the summers that we kicked it. And the late nights, that we stayed up, singing our favourite songs. In my beat up old apartment, we were broke and we were starvin’. But it’s nights like that, that we will never forget again.” Eren’s voice rings out clearly now that Jean can see him and he watches him stop and write something down before chewing on the end of the pencil.

“What are you doing?” The taller male asks as he watches the brunette. Eren looks over at him and gestures for the other male to join him on the couch, something that Jean didn’t need to be asked twice for. His curiosity was burning and he really wanted to know what Eren was doing. He sits down on the couch and glimpses at the notebook on the coffee table. There were several lines that were crossed out and one that was circled over and over again: _Cinnamon & Lipstick._

“Oh, morning. I wanted to write a song for Marco and Historia.” The brunette says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and blinks when Jean stares at him. “Armin said it might help the both of us. I mean we’ve both completely shut down, we’ve not even been working on the album with Mikasa and Annie anymore. They’ve been patient with us, but I think it might help too. It gives us something to focus on again.” He explains and he can see Jean toying with the idea of doing as Eren suggests. Armin generally was right about stuff like this, and while Jean didn’t want to admit it straight away; it probably would be good to have something to focus on again. It would probably help him get rid of the empty feeling in his chest.

“What’s with the cinnamon and lipstick?” He asks as he points at Eren’s notebook. The brunette glances down and smiles seeing the circled words before looking back at Jean.

“You always said that Marco smelt like cinnamon, and well the first time I kissed Historia, I ended up tasting her lipstick. She had that weird one that tasted like raspberries.” He explains as he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. Jean recognised that look and the action that followed. He was embarrassed about remembering something about their lovers. “If you want we don’t have to release the song on the album, - it could be-“

“No. I want to release it on the album. Hearing you sing that bit earlier made me feel something other than despair. I want to do this Eren. I think it’ll help.” Jean says, cutting off Eren before laughing slightly when the brunettes stomach growled. “But first, let me make some pancakes.” He says before standing up and walking to the kitchen.

Jean’s love of cooking was something that had happened when he had met his freckled boyfriend. The nights that they had spent in their old apartment cooking together while singing along to their collective music catalogue had been some of the best nights of their relationship. It had always ended the same way though. It had always ended with Marco stopping singing when it got to Jean’s favourites and just listening to the other male sing as he carried on cooking or cutting vegetables. Not that Jean minded, Marco was doing what he loved at college. And Jean didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, and was working in a record shop as a cashier and teaching kids how to play the guitar.

At least, he hadn’t known what he wanted to do until him and Marco had moved into Eren and Historia’s flat. The arson attack had been horrible to live through, and once him and Eren had cleared the air and started to sing some of their favourite songs together while drunk; Jean had felt better. The actual plan had come a few weeks later when Eren mentioned that Mikasa and Annie wanted to start a band, and had Eren to play guitar and sing in it. The brunette had remembered their singing sessions and had put in a good word for Jean too. After talking it through with Marco, who had told Jean that he would support him; the male agreed to join them.

They’d written a few songs and even played at the student union building at the college were Marco, Armin and Historia attended. It had felt so good seeing the three of them supporting their band and singing along to the songs, while the rest of the audience just listened. Well at least until they got a bit more well-known on campus. Eren as the frontman had managed to keep people excited for the concert and the atmosphere in the room was something Jean had enjoyed for weeks afterwards. He remembers them packing their equipment away after their set and somebody hitting on Annie; and watching as Marco and Historia had to hold Armin back from punching the guy. However, neither him, Eren or Mikasa had made any move to stop Annie from slapping the guy when he insulted her choice in guys.

He remembers Historia’s incredible patience once the four of them had gotten a flat together, with the equipment and leads everywhere. Notebooks and torn pieces of paper with lyrics scrawled on scattered across the floor. While his freckled boyfriend hadn’t had the same patience, he had instead organised a corner of the flat and told both Jean and Eren to _keep their shit over there._  Something that had made the pair of them laugh until they couldn’t breathe. Marco swearing always made the pair of them laugh way too much.

He also remembers the four of them cooking tacos in the kitchen and all singing along to the now even bigger music catalogue. Each of them singing unashamedly as songs that they knew came on. Historia singing Taylor Swift’s _Everything Has Changed_ out of tune on purpose, as well as making a point to sing the male part as well. Eren laughing when Marco told her she sounded nice regardless. Marco singing along to Bruno Mars’ _Runaway Baby_ , giving Jean bedroom eyes and laughing when the poor boy had flushed scarlet. Eren singing along to Disturbed’s _The Light_ and giving Jean shivers at his voice. Himself singing along to Biffy Clyro’s _Re-Arrange_ and watching Eren and Historia stare at him in awe.

Jean hadn’t taken much consideration into how nice his voice was until that day. Sure, Marco had told him plenty of times that he sounded nice, but part of Jean had always assumed that it was because he was his boyfriend. Eren had changed his mind about being the only vocalist for the band that night, instead changing it so that they both were. They’d made those singing and cooking nights a weekly tradition after that. Something that since Historia and Marco’s death; he and Eren had not kept up with.

“Hey Eren.” Jean says as he brings the pancakes through to the brunette. Both plates covered in way too much syrup but that was just how they both liked them. “The bit you were singing earlier, was the singing part about the cooking nights that we had?” He continues when the brunette looks at him before taking a bite of his pancakes.

“Yeah it was. I don’t know whether to use the bit that I sang though.”

“I like it, sounds like a chorus if I’m honest. But it does feel like there is something missing…It could just be the lack of instruments…” Jean muses as he watches Eren devour the stack of pancakes in front of him, opting to eat his own rather slowly.

“A chorus…” The brunette repeats to himself before looking at the taller male. “What if we both sang it?” He says tentatively after thinking about what Jean had said about it missing something. “Mikasa said people seemed to like how our voices play off each other.” He adds as a quick afterthought before grinning when Jean nods. Circling the part he had just written Eren adds a note that it was the chorus and the pair would sing it together.

Once the pair had finished their pancakes they turn to each other determined to work on the song together. Jean still humming the chorus under his breath as he grabs his own guitar. It felt weird after so many weeks to finally pick it back up, but once he got over the initial shock he settles into his side of the couch to work with Eren.

**~~*~~**

“You promise me it doesn’t sound depressing?” Mikasa asks as Jean carries on tuning his guitar. It’s the second time she had asked this now and if Eren was honest it was starting to annoy him.

“No Mikasa. It’s rather upbeat if I’m honest.” Eren says as he sits on one of the breakfast bar stools in their flat, guitar in hand as he idly plays a few chords to check it’s in tune.

It had taken him and Jean three weeks to write the song. Mainly because every so often one of them got a bit too emotional to work on it, and neither of them wanted to work on it without the other. It had helped them both be a bit more open with each other, eventually they had both shared some stories about their lovers and laughing about past memories with each other. That had been the point were the song had changed from a slow number to a happier faster one.

“He’s telling the truth Mikasa, it sounds like we’re reminiscing about a breakup rather than a death.” Jean says as he catches the raven haired girl’s gaze. Neither Annie or Armin had said anything yet and the taller male was wondering if they were just waiting until after they had played it to give their judgement. Annie had always done that, so it didn’t come as a surprise, but Armin was usually a bit more talkative about their songs before they had played them. But maybe the blonde male was just happy that he and Eren were finally functioning like normal humans again.

“Give them a chance Mikasa.” Annie says just loud enough to cut Mikasa off. It makes Eren stop and look at the blonde pair sat on the floor that he hadn’t wanted to look at. He was that used to Historia sitting with Armin and Annie that half of him was sure when he looked she would be sat there. So, every time the brunette looked over and she wasn’t there; he felt his heart sink.

“Thanks Annie.” Jean says as he sits next to Eren. He was a bit nervous about showing them the song, but that was always the case. Jean always got rather invested in the songs he wrote and was a bit scared to receive criticism on them. And with the subject matter of this one, he was even more worried. Something that Eren picks up on as he gently squeezes the taller male’s hand in reassurance.

“It’ll be okay, just pretend there’s only me and you here.” The brunette whispers before shifting in his seat so they could both play comfortably. Armin counts the pair of them in and with that the apartment is filled with the gentle sound of the guitars.

“We were young, we thought we were invincible, we probably made no sense at all. Oh oh.” Eren’s voice was the one that started the song and as he sings everything came back to Jean and suddenly it was just him and Eren singing in their apartment again. Jean’s nerves slowly disappearing as he listens to Eren.

The brunette made a conscious effort to use the softer voice to sing this song with. The one that Historia had adored. On the nights, she couldn’t sleep it was the one he used to sing her to sleep with. The voice that she was convinced when they had kids that he would use to sing lullabies with. Something he now wouldn’t get the chance to do. He had always thought they would have more time together.

“We belonged where ever we wanted to be, no one could tell us anything. Oh oh.” Noticing Eren’s soft voice Jean follows his lead and is honestly surprised that his own voice doesn’t crack given the subject matter. It was all him and Marco had wanted. To belong somewhere. And with Eren, Historia, Mikasa, Armin and Annie they had found that somewhere. And then it had been ripped away from them by Marco’s death.

“I’m not the type to stay cold in the winter, but I know we had something special my dear. We all had our struggles but faith kept us strong and we always knew we would end up right here.” Both their voices ring out in the apartment and Armin feels a smile creep onto his face. They looked so relaxed singing and the fact that he knew he had been write about pushing them to write about it made it slightly more mesmerising that something this beautiful had come out of the pair of them trying to build themselves back up after a momentous tragedy.

“Sometimes I wish we could go back.” Jean always felt that this line was a bit too bittersweet. They had originally put it in because it made the song a bit more light hearted. More about a breakup than two deaths. He had wanted to go back at the beginning, back to a time where Marco and Historia were both alive but he knew that wasn’t possible so had moved on with his life the best he could.

“You remind me of, cinnamon and lipstick, and the summers that we kicked it. And the late nights, that we stayed up, singing our favourite songs. In my beat up old apartment, we were broke and we were starvin’. But it’s nights like that, that we will never forget again.” The brunette smiles slightly as they sing the chorus that had started the entire song weeks ago. It was the only section of the lyrics that had been rewritten over and over. And that was because it worked just as it was. It didn’t need to change, and he could only imagine how good it would sound with both Annie and Mikasa’s drums and bass.

“We were strong, we thought we had the everglow, it felt so irresistible. Oh-oh.” Eren sings with a smile, entirely forgetting that he was using his soft voice, he was getting too into the song. Imagining playing it live and seeing people react to the lyrics they had spent weeks crafting. The atmosphere of a live show riling him up and the memories of Historia supporting his music career flooding his brain as he played was hard to ignore.

“We prolonged, that someday we would have to leave, no one could make us not believe. Oh-oh.” Jean remembers the discussion him and Eren had had regarding this line. The brunette had asked if things were different, would him and Marco have moved out. The taller male had known that Eren wasn’t being rude but it hadn’t changed the fact it had made his heart ache. He knew they wouldn’t have moved. The fact landlords weren’t very accepting of two gay males renting an apartment had made sure of that. So they had kept delaying the conversation about it with Eren and Historia, which had in turn made answering Eren’s question awkward.

“I’m not the type to stay cold in the winter, but I know we had something special my dear. We all had our struggles but faith kept us strong and we always knew we would end up right here.” Annie feels herself smile a little at those lyrics. Both Marco and Historia had always said how good Jean and Eren treated them, and how they knew they had something special. They’d encouraged her to try dating Armin because there was no shame in trying something, and because they had seen how curious she had been about how they knew what they had was special. And seeing Jean and Eren sing those lyrics means that she knows they had felt the same way.

 “Sometimes I wish we could go back.” Eren knew about Jean’s problems with this line. How he didn’t like it too much but to the brunette it fitted perfect. He had agonised for weeks over the night Historia had died. How he wished he had done something different. Anything different. He knew Jean felt the same with Marco’s death, but after the arguments they had had over the line, he didn’t want to bring it up anymore.

“You remind me of, cinnamon and lipstick, and the summers that we kicked it. And the late nights, that we stayed up, singing our favourite songs. In my beat up old apartment, we were broke and we were starvin’. But it’s nights like that, that we will never forget again.” Jean couldn’t help but love this section more than any other part. Yes, it had been the only section that hadn’t been rewritten but it was more than that. It was the section that had made him and Eren start to rebuild their lives. They had restarted their weekly tradition of singing their favourite songs but instead used it to sing Historia and Marco’s rather than their own. It had meant a new beginning, and that was why it was his favourite.

“I know that there’s nothin’ better than this, but please know that in my heart, you will be missed. And all we can do is make new memories, we can still change the world if we believe.” Mikasa feels a shiver run down her spine at the pair of them singing this line. She can tell exactly who had wrote this and knows it was Jean. The taller male had more of an affinity for writing romantic lyrics like this, but she knows the idea of changing the world came from Jean and Marco seeing Historia’s ambition and willpower to prove that not everyone was a homophobic dick.

“Sometimes I wish we could go back. You remind me of, cinnamon and lipstick, and the summers that we kicked it. And the late nights, that we stayed up, singing our favourite songs. In my beat up old apartment, we were broke and we were starvin’. But it’s nights like that, that we will never forget again.” Jean smiles noticing both Annie and Mikasa mouthing the lyrics along with him and Eren. He couldn’t tell if they were singing along but either way it made him happy. He had been right all those weeks ago. The song was catchy, and not in the least depressing. But he hadn’t wanted to believe it until he saw other people singing it.

“Cinnamon and lipstick, and the summers that we kicked it. And the late nights, that we stayed up, singing our favourite songs. In my beat up old apartment, we were broke and we were starvin’. But it’s nights like that, that we will never forget again.” The brunette looks up from his guitar knowing there were near the end of his song and he can’t help but grin seeing all three spectators singing along to his chorus. He couldn’t give two fucks whether this would be a song that them as a band would perform. It had helped him through so much that if this was the first and only time they would perform it he wouldn’t give a shit. It had done exactly what Armin had said it would and he knew that through his and Jean’s actions and routines that Historia and Marco would live on throughout the rest of his life regardless.

“We will never forget again.” The pair hold the final note a bit longer than original intended and when they put their guitars down they feel three sets of arms hugging them tight. It was then that they both truly knew that they would be okay, that they wouldn’t have to go through anything alone, and had such a good group of friends to support them.

It’s when Armin gushing about lyrics that he liked, and Annie and Mikasa are looking other the sheet music and lyrics to work out their own instruments parts that Jean feels it. The brunette slips his hand into Jean’s and when he looks over at him he sees Eren’s slight blush. They truly were about to entire the next part of their lives together it seems.

**Author's Note:**

> So here we have another one shot that I have worked on in between University essays. 
> 
> Months ago I heard FM Static's "Cinnamon and Lipstick" and my brain immediately went into fic mode. The song that Eren and Jean sing is that song, It really is beautiful and it's one of the most played songs on my iPod.


End file.
